Download Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks by Douglas Sarine, Kent Nichols PDF

By Douglas Sarine, Kent Nichols

Lethal NINJA knowledge FOR THE NON-NINJA

Carefully give some thought to the enjoyment of your soft-headed lack of awareness prior to you start to run, turn, and leap alongside the Ninja Path.
After a lot debate and in a spirit of morbid entertainment, the foreign Order of Ninjas has selected to supply The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever mystery ninja education advisor particularly designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who deal with those tender, lethal pages will die–probably in an elaborately bad and painful demeanour. yet no matter if your trip lasts 5 seconds or 5 days or (rather inconceivably) 5 years, all those that bravely absorb this article and keep on with the tenets and trials laid out inside of will die figuring out they have been as ninja as they in all probability could’ve been.

For the real of center or the tremendous fortunate, this robust and honorable manuscript includes such out of the ordinary ninja knowledge as:

•How to create and identify your own deadly ninja clan
•The right weapon to take advantage of whilst combating a vampire pumpkin
•Why clowns and robots are so risky at the Internet
•Easy-to-follow charts displaying whilst to slice and whilst to stab
•How to execute such ultradeadly kicks because the riding leave out Daisy
•Why pretty well each ninja motion picture ever made sucks
•How to make a shoggoth explode utilizing well-placed foliage
•What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll have the desire to make it explode
•Death Aide certification
•And even more ninjafied enlightenment on each shuriken-sharp page!

Remember: humans don't take the trail, the trail takes humans.

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Additional resources for Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon

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As such, we can pretty well deduce his attitude and behavior patterns. Page 2 Just picture Adam, the first Good Ol' Boy, back there that first day. He had just been molded out of a mud spitball. He had the whole world to himself, to do anything he wanted. He could hunt possum. Or he could play mumblety-peg. He could do anything he took a notion to do, and not worry Page 3 about getting interrupted by someone who wanted him to take out the garbage. You can imagine Adam on that first Friday night the world had ever seen, getting all spruced up to step out and paint the Garden red.

Page 5 Anyway, back at the Garden, Adam looks at Eve with a puzzled expression on his face. " he says. "You ain't no fish of the sea. And you ain't no fowl of the air. And you sure as heck ain't no creepin' thing what crawleth. " Of course, Eve hasn't quite figured him out yet, either. "Hey," says Adam. "I'll betcha you're man's best friend. I'll call you Old Blue, and we'll go huntin' possum together, and I'll scratch you behind the ears. " Now Eve didn't take too hot to any of that stuff. She didn't have a mama to tell her what a no-count bum this guy was and how unlikely it was she could ever turn him into anything more than what she saw.

After half an hour or so, Joe got to thinking he probably ought to go do his neighborly duty and go call on the Widder Anderson himself. As Joe let himself in at the Anderson gate, who should come out on the front porch but Old Man Anderson. <><><><><><><><><><><><> If the reader will allow a true story about an alleged liar, I submit another Liberty Hill tale, with reliance on no less an authority than that venerable publication, the Texas Observer, and other unnamed sources for purported facts.

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